I used to spend a lot of time consumed with what others thought of me. That is, until I realised one simple revelation. The image someone else has of us is in their minds, and their minds alone. So, when they get angry, disappointed, annoyed at me, what they’re being moved by is their image of me in their heads, not actually me.
I recently heard this story, which explains it best, I think:
A heckler once turned up at a Buddha’s talk and shouted at him, louder and more viciously as the talk progressed, until the heckler became frustrated that the Buddha was ignoring him, and continued to talk calmly to the gathering as if nothing had happened.
Eventually, the man shouted “Hey, why aren’t you getting annoyed? I’m being so mean to you”.
The buddha replied, “If you give someone a gift, and that someone refuses to accept it, who does the gift then belong to?”
The man replied “Well, obviously, it still belongs to me.”
The buddha then said, “Exactly. The same applies to your anger and frustration. If I choose not to accept it, then it also still belongs to you, not me.”
We cannot change what another person thinks of us, good or bad. It’s simply their perception. Allow others their ideas and prejudices, and accept that that image of us in their heads belongs to them, and them alone. It has nothing to do with us, or who we are. Stay shiny, folks!