We’re all aware of the Samuel Johnson quote, “The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.” And we’ve been taught that the true mark of a person is how they treat strangers. But I’d like to counter that.
For me, the true character of a person is how they treat the people around them.
It’s so easy to smile at strangers and wish them well. It’s generally just a fleeting moment of kindness. But that, alone, can be somewhat narcissistic. If we treat a stranger better than we do our loved ones, we’re only feeding our ego in the need to be seen as a ‘good’ person.
True character, I find, comes from how we treat the people we live with every day. These are the people who can get under our skin and know us the best, and so forgiving them their foibles and allowing them to have a voice, for me, is a far greater display of who we are.
Selfishly, too, in our subconscious, we believe that our loved ones are safe ground for us. No matter how searing our words might be, or how unforgivable our actions are at times, we believe they will accept us, unconditionally. This may be true to a point, but when we do this without restraint, and often, whist being kind to strangers, then maybe some inner (or outer) reflection may be beneficial.
I am as guilty as anyone else. I can treat those I love disrespectfully at times. When we spend so much time with one another, it’s inevitable. But, as I started out here: for me, the true character of a person is how they treat the people around them. And so, reminding ourselves of this can be beneficial in recapturing our self-respect. Our loved ones are called so for a reason. And it’s through respect that our love can be exhibited most profoundly.